Camp Half Blood X Camp Jupiter
Welcome to Camp Half Blood X Camp Jupiter!

It is a Percy-Jackson-series-and-Heroes-of-the-Olympians-based site where members can create their own characters, role-play, discuss on the books(or even the movies - try to keep calm and don't type any swear words), and take part in different kinds of site activities!
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Camp Half Blood X Camp Jupiter

Camp Half Blood X Camp Jupiter is where demigods learn how to survive. You can create your own original character here! Welcome to join us and share your creative thoughts here! : )
 
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 Profile of Lee Underwood, son of Trivia

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Sabrina Zhu
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Female Aquarius Posts : 59
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Age : 20

PostSubject: Re: Profile of Lee Underwood, son of Trivia   Thu Sep 27, 2012 12:32 pm

Um, hi! You've gone to a good start, but you should go look at the profile of the characters.

It's not enough information, Roman brother dear.

Hey! It's not fair! You have more powers than I do! No

Control over the Mist?!

Oh, and what do you mean by Flaws: Bugs.? I'm confused. confused

~Christina Hughes, daughter of Hecate
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LeeUnderwood
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PostSubject: Re: Profile of Lee Underwood, son of Trivia   Thu Sep 27, 2012 1:59 pm

Ok, thank you! ! ! I'll edit it right now...
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ChocoKat
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Female Leo Posts : 830
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Age : 20
Location : Camp Half-Blood :)

PostSubject: Re: Profile of Lee Underwood, son of Trivia   Thu Sep 27, 2012 6:30 pm

Child of Trivia (how should I call you actually?)
What Christina said is exactly what I mean Very Happy
Just to make sure that you know how to create a character a character properly, you should have a look of the guidelines and other posts here: http://campsfordemigods.home-forums.com/f28-things-you-need-to-know
In fact, you can follow the format here : http://campsfordemigods.home-forums.com/t4-profile-of-your-character
Also you can take reference from the characters approved here: http://campsfordemigods.home-forums.com/f11-approved-characters

Feel free to ask me if need help Very Happy

~Katerina, daughter of Athena
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ChocoKat
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Location : Camp Half-Blood :)

PostSubject: Re: Profile of Lee Underwood, son of Trivia   Sat Sep 29, 2012 12:02 am

This is much better Very Happy
But before approving it, I hope that you could make some changes so that Lee will become a more developed character Very Happy Very Happy

Firstly, about the physical description, simply by writing "handsome" is not enough for describing Lee. You could choose to include a picture of him or make the description more detailed Smile

Secondly, it would be better if you add more bad points (about 3 more) and good points (1-2) to its personality part, as Lee sounds a bit like a Gary-sue. Also, about the "Favorite place at camp" part, I'm sorry to tell you that it can't be "Trivia's cabin", because there aren't any cabin for a particular god/goddess' children in Camp Jupiter, but cohorts instead. So, you may have to change that...

Thirdly, in the relationship part, you've written that Alexandra who's not a demigod is Lee's girlfriend. So how does he keep contact with her when he's in Camp Jupiter? Are they still close?

About the "power" part in "Battle", I think it would be better if you add limits to Lee's powers. Otherwise, this will be like god-playing which's not allowed here. Also, most campers here are allowed to have at most 3 powers, so you may need to edit that part...(by the way, what's "necromacy"? I've never heard of this before confused Also, what kinds of incarnations can Lee do?)
Moreover, where's the "strengths" and "weaknesses" parts? You as well have to fill those parts in. Um...I don't think "Bugs" can be a fatal flaw... Flaw flaw should be something like having low self-esteem, being stupid, pride, etc.

Lastly, about the biography part, um...it's a good try, but there're still some problems that need to be solved. Generally, mortals won't be granted any powers like magic. So, you should make some changes on that Smile Also, most campers in Camp Jupiter have to survived from the training of Lupa before entering the camp. Lee couldn't just appear in the camp from nowhere...

I think this profile, considering it's your first, it's already quite good. Once you've corrected it, we'll approve it Very Happy
If you don't know how to do, you can take references from other APPROVED characters.
You can also ask me if you need any help Very Happy
Looking forward to approve yours!!!
By the way, next time when you want to edit your post, just click the black button "Edit" on the top instead of posting a new one Very Happy

~Katerina, daughter of Athena
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LeeUnderwood
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PostSubject: Re: Profile of Lee Underwood, son of Trivia   Sun Sep 30, 2012 3:12 am

Ok, i'll edit it know, I will edit the second character trivia I putted
... By the way, necromancy is the mental or physical ability to control the bodies and spirits of the dead... Smile

_________________
-Lee Underwood, son of Trivia. Praetor and centurion of the second cohort.

Natalie, daughter of Discordia.
-Alexandra, legacy of Venus.
-Kevin, son of Nemesis.
-Angie, daughter of Angita.
Gwen owen, daughter of Juventas.

Lana Cruise, huntress of Diana, child of Luna.


Last edited by childOfTrivia1207 on Sun Sep 30, 2012 11:36 pm; edited 1 time in total
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LeeUnderwood
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PostSubject: Re: Profile of Lee Underwood, son of Trivia   Sun Sep 30, 2012 3:39 pm

Can I put that Alexandra is a legacy of Venus?? And i'll put it in my character sheet...

_________________
-Lee Underwood, son of Trivia. Praetor and centurion of the second cohort.

Natalie, daughter of Discordia.
-Alexandra, legacy of Venus.
-Kevin, son of Nemesis.
-Angie, daughter of Angita.
Gwen owen, daughter of Juventas.

Lana Cruise, huntress of Diana, child of Luna.
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ChocoKat
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Female Leo Posts : 830
Drachmas : 8751
Join date : 2012-08-29
Age : 20
Location : Camp Half-Blood :)

PostSubject: Re: Profile of Lee Underwood, son of Trivia   Sun Sep 30, 2012 7:09 pm

You mean like a daughter of Venus?
Yes, for sure Smile
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LeeUnderwood
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PostSubject: Re: Profile of Lee Underwood, son of Trivia   Sun Sep 30, 2012 11:34 pm

Not actually like a child of Venus, fir example, Octavian and Frank. Octavian, legacy of Apollo and Frank Legacy of Poseidon....

Alexandra's mither was a daughter of Venus. So Alexandra is a legacy of Venus...Very Happy

_________________
-Lee Underwood, son of Trivia. Praetor and centurion of the second cohort.

Natalie, daughter of Discordia.
-Alexandra, legacy of Venus.
-Kevin, son of Nemesis.
-Angie, daughter of Angita.
Gwen owen, daughter of Juventas.

Lana Cruise, huntress of Diana, child of Luna.
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ChocoKat
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Female Leo Posts : 830
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Join date : 2012-08-29
Age : 20
Location : Camp Half-Blood :)

PostSubject: Re: Profile of Lee Underwood, son of Trivia   Mon Oct 01, 2012 12:05 am

it's also ok Very Happy
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ChocoKat
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Join date : 2012-08-29
Age : 20
Location : Camp Half-Blood :)

PostSubject: Re: Profile of Lee Underwood, son of Trivia   Mon Oct 01, 2012 12:13 am

Actually, in the "Personality and characteristics" part is refering to the good(e.g.nice to the others) and bad points(e.g.superficial) of Lee's personality, instead of what he's good/weak at battles.

Also, what kinds of incarnations do Lee do? Does he always suceed? What's his strength in battles?

Add these and I'll approve it Very Happy
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LeeUnderwood
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PostSubject: Re: Profile of Lee Underwood, son of Trivia   Mon Oct 01, 2012 5:35 am

Done, I think I took some action out of the personality and charasteristic:DDD

_________________
-Lee Underwood, son of Trivia. Praetor and centurion of the second cohort.

Natalie, daughter of Discordia.
-Alexandra, legacy of Venus.
-Kevin, son of Nemesis.
-Angie, daughter of Angita.
Gwen owen, daughter of Juventas.

Lana Cruise, huntress of Diana, child of Luna.
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ChocoKat
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Female Leo Posts : 830
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Join date : 2012-08-29
Age : 20
Location : Camp Half-Blood :)

PostSubject: Re: Profile of Lee Underwood, son of Trivia   Mon Oct 01, 2012 9:48 am

Alright, approved Very Happy
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LeeUnderwood
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PostSubject: Re: Profile of Lee Underwood, son of Trivia   Mon Oct 01, 2012 2:17 pm

Thanks you so much!!! Very Happy

_________________
-Lee Underwood, son of Trivia. Praetor and centurion of the second cohort.

Natalie, daughter of Discordia.
-Alexandra, legacy of Venus.
-Kevin, son of Nemesis.
-Angie, daughter of Angita.
Gwen owen, daughter of Juventas.

Lana Cruise, huntress of Diana, child of Luna.
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